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Look Put Together And Show Yourself

A boy who is not so put together will probably marry a girl who isn’t particular about looks. Nevertheless, appearances make a difference to every girl. A boy in שידוכים needs to always look put together, never shlumpy, flying, or unkempt. This is true even when he is not on a date, as people will get impressions that may be relayed to the girl. It’s needless to say that on a date the boy should dress in formal attire.

Many times, a boy thinks that girls are looking for a certain stereotype, and tries to present himself in the image he assumes is expected of him, meanwhile hiding his true self. This is a mistake. Imagine such a boy gets married and only then does the girl discovers that the boy’s true self is not really what she expected. That would not be very good, to put it mildly. The best thing is to show her who you really are, and tell her what you stand for; if she says no, then she apparently isn’t cut out for you. You would not want to marry someone who doesn’t appreciate who you are, and it’s good that you caught it early on. You want to marry someone who respects who you are.

Of course, a medical disorder is not what a person stands for. This should not be spoken about until the girl has a good picture of who the boy really is, and is able to look at it in perspective. A competent רב must be consulted for guidance in this. Anything else that would portray an inaccurate picture unless viewed in the context of the person at large may also wait for a later date.

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