Show Care But Not Affection

Part of Shidduchim 101 – Part 6 Obviously, it is inappropriate to show any affection before becoming engaged. However, caring is not affection. Caring means being interested in her well-being, i.e. both physical and emotional comfort. On a date, the boy should focus on making the girl feel comfortable. This alleviates some of the uneasiness […]

Show Yourself

Many times, a boy thinks that girls are looking for a certain stereotype, and tries to present himself in the image he assumes is expected of him, meanwhile hiding his true self. This is a mistake. Imagine such a boy gets married and only then does the girl discovers that the boy’s true self is […]

Focus On Her

Part of Shidduchim 101 – Part 4 Some boys make the mistake of focusing conversation on showing themself off. The boy talks about his מעלות, and other topics relating to himself. There are a few reasons why this is a mistake. First of all, a girl wants a husband who cares for her. She does […]

Holding Open The Car Door

Part of Shidduchim 101 – Part 3 A girl wants to feel taken care of by her future husband. When a boy holds open the door for her, she gets this sensation. Of course, he isn’t really taking care of her yet, but her feelings may mean more to her than reality. When the boy […]

Explain Your Actions

Part of Shidduchim 101 – Part 2 A girl who is on a date is very nervous. Everything the boy does is over-interpreted. Therefore, it is smart for a boy to explain actions that the girl may not expect, even when he thinks that they are self-explanatory, and won’t cause her to be alarmed. For […]

Length of a Date

Part of Shidduchim 101 – Part 1 The point of a date is to get a better understanding of who the prospective match is. The date can go on as long as this objective is being achieved. When the conversation peters out and you have to resort to purposeless conversation to keep things going, the […]